Dr Helen Garr, AKA the Wellbeing GP, is an experienced GP, expert and leader in the field of mental health and wellbeing. Helen is known for her energetic and interactive talks that leave her audience with practical takeaway tools to improve their health and wellbeing. She expertly delivers the science, evidence and solutions behind improving our mental health and wellbeing both at home and at work in a way that is fun, relatable and accessible to staff of all levels. Helen is currently Medical Director Designate of NHS Practitioner Health – the largest health care professional mental health treatment service of its kind in the world, former Public Health England Clinical Champion for physical activity and has a background in psychology and coaching. 

TOP TIPS

Life throws curveballs. No one is getting through it without setbacks, whether it’s a failed exam, the end of a relationship, a mistake at work, or a serious health diagnosis. Over years of working in mental health and well-being, I’ve learned—and seen—that resilience is not something you’re born with. It’s something you build. Think of it like PPE for the mind: tools you can develop to protect yourself mentally and emotionally when life gets tough.

Here are my top five tips, backed by science and experience, for bouncing forward—not just back—when things go wrong.

1. Sh*t will happen

Life isn’t fair. That’s not just a flippant phrase— everyday in my practice I witness bad things happening to good people. What always surprises me is our ability to cope when things go wrong. One of the biggest predictors of emotional strength is accepting reality as it is, rather than getting stuck in “why me?” mode. Research by psychologist George Bonanno shows that people who adapt quickly to change and focus on what they can control are more likely to thrive, even after trauma.

Mental PPE Tip: Ditch the “It’s not fair” narrative and focus on preparing your mind and habits to withstand inevitable storms.

2.  Grow through what you go through

After a setback, most people return to their previous level of functioning. Some don’t fully recover. But others go on to grow—becoming stronger, more purposeful, and more connected. This is known as Post-Traumatic Growth (PTG), a concept supported by decades of research. People who grow after adversity often report:

• A renewed appreciation of life

• Deeper relationships

• New goals and purpose

• Greater inner strength

Psychologists Tedeschi and Calhoun found that this growth doesn’t happen by accident—it happens when we reflect, find meaning, and act in line with newly clarified values.

Mental PPE Tip: We know that writing down our thoughts, journalling, can really help with growing from adversity. 

3.  Learn to fail—fast and forward

Failure is not the opposite of success—it’s a key part of it. In tech start-ups, there’s a popular phrase: “Fail fast, fail forward.” Mistakes aren’t shameful—they’re expected. Even Apple didn’t wait for the perfect iPhone before releasing it—they iterated, learned, improved.

We can apply the same mindset to life. Studies show that when people view failure as feedback—not final—they experience less anxiety and more motivation (Kross et al., 2014).

Mental PPE Tip: After a setback, however small or large,  ask: “What’s the lesson here?” Then move forward, better equipped.

4.  Name it to tame it

There’s power in putting feelings into words and getting into the habit of labelling how we are feeling.

Neuroscientific research (Lieberman et al., 2007) shows that simply naming your emotions—like “I feel anxious” or “I feel angry”—reduces activity in the brain’s fear centre and increases activity in the logical centre. In short, naming helps tame the emotional chaos.

Mental PPE Tip: Don’t bottle it— get into the habit of labelling it. Say it out loud, write it down, or share it with someone you trust.

5.  Don’t worry twice

Worrying in advance doesn’t prevent problems—it just drains your energy. One of the most useful things I tell patients is this: Don’t worry until you know you need to. Anticipatory anxiety—worrying about something that might happen—can be more damaging than the event itself. Research (Borkovec et al., 2004) shows that chronic worriers suffer more distress, even when their fears never materialise. And if the problem does arise? You’ve exhausted yourself before you’ve even begun to deal with it.

Mental PPE Tip: Ask yourself: “Do I have 100% clear evidence this will happen?” If not, let it go—for now. Don’t worry twice. 

Written by Dr Helen Garr

Please note, the views expressed by the original article author are theirs alone and do not necessarily represent those of Washingtondowling Associates Ltd or The SHE Show and therefore we take no responsibility for the content or accuracy of this post.